Life Lesson 7: When buying a sweet wood fired pork roll, you do not need to be a greedy guts and ask for 'more gravy please because I love it so much.' This then renders the roll 'unpickupable'. It is rather lame/embarrassing to sit by yourself, picking at the gravied remnants of the roll because it is simply too soggy to eat properly, as you will have already discovered and is evidenced by the lumps of roll all over your pants.
Solution 1: Have some rice paper rolls instead.
Solution 2: If solution 1 is not likely, at least find someone to eat with (a depenable P.I.E is best) during that lunch hour so that it's more funny than embarrassing.