I'm not sure I should be posting this. It really affects my credibility as a lover of good food. After much consideration, I thought I would just put it out there- in the hope that some of you may be able to identify. If you are a health nut- please stop reading now. Chances are you are going to be appalled and I can't say I feel much better about the situation.
Sometimes I get very odd craving urges. As an example, I don't particularly like smoked oysters, yet sometimes I get the hankering and have been known to knock over a couple of tins in one hit. I already know- disgusting. The problem is, when these cravings hit, they take over my brain. I genuinely cannot function until I have eaten whatever it is that is the object of my desire. Is it possible to be addicted to food?
The most problematic and frequent craving is for pork. Not just any old pork- specifically a roast pork sandwich on white bread with butter, doused with gravy and apple sauce. This little delight can be picked up from the physiology refectory at UQ in St Lucia, one of the many vices I acquired as a student. N0w a roast pork sandwich you say? You've had one before and no big deal? Wrong.
Plenty of people know about these sandwiches and as a result the pork is usually sold out before 1p.m. so if you are going to give this fat attack a go. I was at the uni for a number of years before, out of pure luck, I found out about these little treats. I was standing in the queue and had a lack of inspiration. I thought- I'm going to have whatever the guy in front of me was having. I proceeded to I'm going to be straight up here and order 'the same' please. The lunch lady suggested I have apple sauce on top of the gravy and whilst I was a little disturbed I was in a 'whatever goes' mode and so the apple sauce was smooshed on.
This is not something you would want to eat once a week- or even once a month. At one stage I had one every day for nearly two weeks. It was then I realised I had a problem and had to approach one of my co-workers for help. She has been asked to help me through this little problem and recite the reasons why I am strong enough to resist the draw of the pork sanga. Not even kidding. No more pork sandwiches for a while. Since then, I have only had two pork sandwiches which is no mean feat given that the pork obsession peaked a couple of months ago. Maybe it was withdrawals from porchetta day that sent me in search of the pork. Now, when you look at the picture below you need to believe that beauty comes from the inside because this certainly isn't a pretty sandwich.
I still have the memories of the most pork doused in thickened cafeteria style gravy with some cheap apple sauce melting through the buttered soft white bread. Biting into this delightful heart attack in a sandwich causes a myriad of sensations- the homeliness of roast, the comfort of gravy and the sweet taste of the apple sauce- my mouth and my heart come alive. There is nothing quite like it really. I've tried to recreate at home but my sandwiches seem to lack the certain x factor that make the refec sandwiches so damn good. And no- I'm pretty sure I don't want to know what the x factor is- so no helpful clues ok! It is for the good of my heart (and my butt) that I have to stop though but this post has got me thinking... What's for lunch today- maybe I can sneak over and just have one?
Tips for eating
1) make sure you eat at the refec or your destination is very close- a little bit of gravy sogginess is ok- but you dont want the whole pieces of buttered white goodness to dissolve into the gravy mix ok?
2) ask for the most moist pieces of pork- to do this- make sure you get there early at about 11:30 so the meat has not had time to dry out in the bain marie (yep comes out of a bain marie).
3) have the apple sauce- the lunch lady knew what she was doing when she prompted me to have the extra apple sauce. Take the damn sauce ok?
4) Make sure you have someone that will be able to help you when the temptation gets too much and you eat so much pork you turn into a pig.
So please tell me, Is there anything that you just love even though it really rates on the scale of really bad? Please? PLEASE someone other than me confess to a food crime.